RayBabyRay

Do I deserve to be unhappy?

(Source: raybabyray)

it’s basically this situation:

boy: “hey girl let me get your number”

me: “no.”

boy: “YOU UGLY ANYWAYS”

that’s basically what this is…but on a different level.

okay goodnight!

isn’t weird that every guy who had something to say, or was amused by that little twitter rant them two fools went on, at one point admitted to having feelings for me?

___ thought it was funny, and wanted to subtweet about it, but i recently denied him before we both started college and he seems salty about that. so that’s not a good look. mad cuz he didn’t succeed?

and then __ thought it was funny and seemed to be agreeing with the bad things they said about me, but he used to be openly in love with me (i never responded to him though) so that’s not a good look. I coulda sworn you wanted a chance with me 2 seconds ago? I coulda sworn we were completely cool too? strange… maybe he just wants to be like the big boys….

okay so___ wanted to “wife” me …bad look since he only started all of this hatred after I denied him. you seem salty. before he got denied it was all cake! hmm…

and of course there’s ___… the only one who i’ve ever actually dated…the only one who has any kind of room to talk… but still… he’s salty because all of his friends have tried to talk to me at one point… i should have never given any of them a chance but it’s not my fault that they approached me, and i was young and fell for it! but i always carried myself with class no matter who i was talking to. so i see nothing wrong with that. but no, you’re kinda right in a way…it really did not work out for me in the end….

I just think it’s weird how y’all used to blow up my phone, call me pet names, beg for my attention, tell me you loved/wanted/liked/missed me, and then as soon as your pride starts getting in the way… BAM! you suddenly have no respect for me…? I’m still the same girl you used to talk to… so how does that make you look?

So that means I’m back in my little dorm room with my roommate.

• Horrible florescent lighting
• Ugly walls as backdrops
• Cluttered space
• No tripod (i was using my mom’s at home)
• No natural light
• Limited privacy since I have a roommate

So you know what that means! My blog quality is about to go back down a little bit.

Plus I’m in school so I won’t have as much free time.

Just a heads up!

SIDE NOTE:

*Custom Thrift* should be returning this spring, but first I have to gage my workload to see if I’m really gonna have time to open my shop again. cross your fingers though!

XO 

(Source: raybabyray)

I don’t plan on pledging. I just can’t see myself in a sorority at all. Maybe my thoughts will change though…

I dont compliment people very often because I think fake or insincere compliments are so wrong. If I compliment you, it’s really from the heart. But I know most people just send out compliments like it’s nothing because they feel obligated to say nice things whether they really mean it or not. I think 70% of the compliments I get are sympathy-based. I wish people would just be more honest. Not rude. But just don’t say things you don’t mean, just don’t say anything.

(Source: raybabyray)

i’m in this weird state of knowing that things like tumblr and youtube are for the most part MEANINGLESS pass times, and that there are bigger things I could be focusing on or spending my time with, but yet I want so badly to excel at these meaningless internet activities because it seems easier than anything that goes on in real life. When people say that blogging is an escape, they aren’t lying. The real world is cruel and hard to deal with.

I’m losing touch with reality because I spend so much time in the internet world.

Today, someone in the mall tried to introduce himself to me since he works in the mall too. He said he recognized me and my first thought was “oh he must have seen me online before” then he says “oh you work here right?” I felt so dumb. What the heck? Then I couldn’t even hold a decent conversation with him because usually when I meet new people, it’s online, and I type my response. I don’t know how to talk to people in real life anymore.

This isn’t a joke. But feel free to laugh.

The internet is literally taking over the world and our lives, we use it for everything, I use it 24/7. But I almost want to do an experiment and try to pry myself away for awhile.

What would happen if for lets say 2 months, I didn’t use tumblr, youtube, Facebook, or twitter. And only used the internet to research things for class and stuff like that…?

I’m just curious.

If I can’t build a decent “fan base” or whatever you call it in 3 years… How long is it going to take?

I’m just genuinely starting to think that people don’t care about what I have to offer. There are so many fashion blogs and youtube channels that they are probably finding similar inspiration and ideas from some where else….someone who is more popular. Why would you watch my video that has 1,000 views when another video with a similar title has 300,000 views? See what I’m saying? How do I get out of these shadows?

I mean obviously some people do. Maybe a total of 8,000 people care to come to me for ideas. But the whole point is, 8K is NOTHING in comparison to other people. I know I’m doing better than a lot of people, I know some people wish they could be in my shoes, but on a scale from 1 to 300K (since many bloggers can easily reach 300K views) ….1K is on the bottom! Who wants to be on the bottom? You might think I’m doing good, but GOOD is not good enough. I have HIGH goals and standards for myself. Even with things as insignificant as tumblr.

And I will always compare my work to others.

I don’t really care if you don’t like ME as a person. You don’t have to think I have a nice personality, but I would like for people to like what I do. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense…

Whatever, let me get out of my feelings. I don’t know why I’m explaining myself. I just hate the feeling of being misunderstood.

Most of you probably know that I’m mildly in love with Kim from kimdash.tumblr.com

She fascinates me and I have a girl crush on her. She knows I exist which makes this more awkward. Actually, it’s not that SHE fascinates me, it’s more like her “fame” fascinates me.

It blows my mind how a pretty girl can attract so much attention so easily. Her blog and the fact that she has so many followers, so many notes on her posts, so many admirers, is just proof that looks get you very far in life no matter how much we try to deny it.

I like her because she doesn’t have that typical “pretty girl” look though, the realness of her figure and face make people like her more.

She doesn’t have to teach us anything, write anything, create anything, all she has to do is post pictures of herself and she’s set. The other stuff is just extra. It blows my mind. She gets popular off of her iPhone pictures and suddenly clothing companies are sending her clothes for her to promote them. Meanwhile the rest of us are like “How does this happen?!”

A lot of people hate her because she has a harsh personality and probably because they’re jealous of her and her “fame”. 

I just want to know why all of this happened anyways? I feel like I want to do a study on internet fame. “Internet Fame, The Cause and Effects” by Raven Scott.

You guys don’t care.

(Source: raybabyray)

Go ahead and fill my inbox with salty messages about that last post. Tell me I shouldn’t care about my popularity, tell me I need to shut up and that I’m annoying.

You’re all so predictable.

But the truth is, I don’t want to leave this earth a nobody. I want people to know who I am. And no, tumblr is not the way…but it could be. F it though, I’ve been trying for 3 years. I give up. I’m just gonna continue having fun with my blog and stop trying to make something of it, it’s not working. 8 notes on my post? Cool. 5,000 notes on a picture of KimDash’s face? Cool.

i just realized how unpopular I am. In real life and on the internet. Like, no one knows I exist. I get my 15 seconds of fame every once in a while, but really, I’m not even on the list, I’m not even near the list of popular people/bloggers. People who’ve had their blogs for only a few months have more followers than me. The rudest people at school have more “friends” than I do. It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re good looking.

i feel so unattractive right now…or lately.

just ugly.

These girls who are going natural are kind of obsessed with their hair and really baby it. They buy all these expensive natural organic products and spend lots of time nurturing their hair. They go on curly hair blogs everyday and might even have a natural hair blog of their own.

It’s totally cool, there’s nothing wrong with taking really good care of your hair and really focusing on it but I just hate dealing with hair so I’d rather just do quick things that work for me and that are cheap. Its just hair! My hair grows VERY fast, so if I ever jack up my hair really bad, I’m not afraid to cut it off and start all over. As you can see!

I mean yeah, I would love to have magnificently beautiful hair 24/7 but I’m just not the type to spend a whole lot of time or money on it! I’d much rather put my focus on my face or clothes!

Mind you, I do want to take decent care of my hair so that it doesn’t break off so that it will grow nice and long! And I will probably buy and use more products when it’s longer since i’ll be styling it more, but I’m just being honest, I’m not going to baby my hair, I’m really lazy when it comes to that!

That’s why you’ll see in my video that I don’t use a lot of products and I manage my hair in a very simple manner, mostly just using water!

If you’re looking for natural hair advice, DO NOT ASK ME, because I know nothing about it.

(Source: raybabyray)